Family Talk: News and Resources for Family Discipleship

Family Talk: News and Resources for Family Discipleship

1. How to navigate technology in your home with twelve practical ideas and helpful research. 

“When talking about teens and screens — or “screenagers” — we need to get concrete. So let me offer twelve practical suggestions to stir into the discussions you’re already having in your churches and homes.”

2. A growing number of grandparents are raising their grandchildren, which brings a unique set of challenges. Learn more about these families and ways you can support them.

“More grandparents than ever are being put in a position like Barb and Fran—becoming full-time parents again, often with fewer resources and more health problems than they had the first time around. The arrangement is not new, of course — people raised by grandparents for at least part of their childhood include Maya Angelou, Carol Burnett, and two former presidents, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama—but it’s more common than ever these days.”

3. New research on evolution provides opportunity for parents and grandparents to teach children the trustworthiness of the Bible.

“The study’s most startling result, perhaps, is that nine out of 10 species on Earth today, including humans, came into being 100,000 to 200,000 years ago. ‘This conclusion is very surprising, and I fought against it as hard as I could,’ Thaler told AFP. That reaction is understandable: How does one explain the fact that 90 percent of animal life, genetically speaking, is roughly the same age?”

Family Talk: News and Resources for Family Discipleship.

Family Talk: News and Resources for Family Discipleship

1. A correct theology of the home does not idolize or marginalize the home, but sees the home as the first and primary place where the battle for hearts and minds of children is won.

“The home front is the forlorn battlefield of the cultural wars. In our strivings to defend the gospel against doctrinal decline in the church and increasing secularism in the culture, we must not forget the importance of cultivating virtue in the home. For the church

2. Pew study reveals significant theological confusion about God and reminds us of the necessity to teach young people the character of God as taught in Scripture.

“When respondents say they don’t believe in God, what are they rejecting? Are they rejecting belief in any higher power or spiritual force in the universe? Or are they rejecting only a traditional Christian idea of God – perhaps recalling images of a bearded man in the sky? Conversely, when respondents say they do believe in God, what do they believe in – God as described in the Bible, or some other spiritual force or supreme being?”

3. Mayor of Hoboken rejects God’s design for gender and orders all bathrooms to become gender neutral. 

“The city of Hoboken, N.J. — just over the bridge from Manhattan’s skyline — now joins a growing list of American cities passing bills making public bathrooms “gender neutral.” Bhalla said his executive order is the “next step,” designed to “further protect the civil rights and dignity of our transgender, gender non-binary, and queer residents and visitors, but this is just the start. I will continue to introduce progressive and inclusive policies to protect all residents.”


Parents Matter Most

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Parenthood surveyed 1,000 teenagers and asked them what the number one factor was in shaping their decisions on sex. Was it social media? their friends? siblings? sex education? No! The majority of the teens said their parents were the greatest factor. Praise God!

Unfortunately, when the parents of these 1,000 teens were asked how their teens answered this question, fewer than 1 in 4 answered correctly. I think this reveals that many parents are being deceived and discouraged by the enemy and all things media. They are having a hay day getting parents to believe their influence doesn’t have lasting impact and that their voice can’t compete with culture’s.

The truth? Y-O-U matter most! Not the government, not the school, not even the church. You have been called by God and know/love your child better than anyone. Don’t believe the lie that your voice doesn’t make a difference – because in reality, it makes the biggest difference of all!

It will require patience (as you may not see fruit develop immediately), persistence (to not give in or give up but keep pursuing your kid even when they hold you at arm’s length) and prayerfulness (because you cannot transform your kid’s heart – only God Almighty can do that).

The best part is that God is just asking you to be faithful in talking with your children about sexuality. The results? Well, He wants you to leave that to Him! Will you accept His invitation?

Reflect and Respond:

  • On a scale of 1 – 10 (1 = lowest, 10 = highest) how would you rate yourself on the three P words I mentioned above: patience, persistence and prayerfulness? Choose your lowest rated word, and commit to working on that this week.
  • Check out the resource page on my website for quick access to articles, books and downloadables you can use in conversations with your kids.
  • Consider asking other parents to get together monthly with the purpose of encouraging and praying for one another. Where two or more are gathered in His name, He is there! (Matthew 18:20)

Family Talk: News and Resources for Family Discipleship

For the Family: News and resources for family discipleship

Five articles, videos, and resources to encourage and equip parents and grandparents.

According to new Barna study, conservative Christians credit parents, the Bible, church, and family members (grandparents) as the four most dominant influences in their life.

“The top three personal influences cited by SAGE Cons are the Bible (estimated to have “a lot of influence” on their decisions and perspectives by 98%), religious teaching (92%), and the values taught to them by their parents (77%). A second series of entities were said to have “a lot of influence” by about one-third of the segment. Those influences included family members (listed by 33%)…”

Massachusetts schools adopt new curriculum aimed at normalizing LGBTQ lifestyle.

“Bay State schools will be able to try a new curriculum with LGBTQ-themed history, English and health this fall that proponents say is an effort to help all students see themselves reflected in classrooms.”

“It is really up to classroom teachers to normalize being LGBTQ in the classroom. It is not only talking about it in the curriculum but being careful in the language they use, respecting the pronouns students use or not making heterosexist assumptions. Teachers can do a lot to help normalize LGBTQ.”

Public schools are a mechanism to teach children transgenderism.

“A majority of these teachers also said they have tried to integrate LGBT-related topics into their teaching. Many also mentioned advising LGBT awareness groups for students, training peers or addressing the topic in venues such as school assemblies.”

“And, they told us, they see schools as crucial spaces not only of learning, but of safety, for the next generation.”

The Bible gives us an incredible picture of the glory of old age and the purpose for the last half of life.

“The Bible dignifies four stages of life. It probably has more to the last stage than any other. What the Bible has to say about age is not counter-intuitive, it is extremely, and profoundly counter-cultural.”

Gospel Shaped Family Conference to equip parents, grandparents, and church leaders to shape the next generation for Christ.

The Gospel Shaped Family conference is designed to equip families to raise children and grandchildren with a deep, lasting, culture-transforming faith. God designed families to shape the next generation with the gospel, give them a biblical view of life, and be the primary means to help children and grandchildren mature in Christ.

A Popular Half Truth: More is Caught Than Taught

A common phrase used to communicate how to pass on faith to future generations is this, “Faith is caught not taught.” It sounds spiritual. Unfortunately, it’s unbiblical. The Bible elevates both as important. Faith is caught, which is why we must be able to say to young people, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). Faith is also taught. The Bible prioritizes teaching as the primary method of helping future generations know Christ and grow in maturity. Let’s explore a few passages that command parents and grandparents to teach the truth of God’s word to young people.

  • Teach these things to your children and your children’s children (Deut. 4:9).
  • You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk about them when you sit…walk…lie down…when you rise (Deut. 6:7).
  • He commanded our [grand] fathers to teach their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children (Ps. 78:5-6).
  • Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and forsake not your mother’s teaching (Prov. 1:8).
  • Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4).
  • Older women…are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands…Older men…urge the younger men to be self-controlled (Titus 2:2-6).

Parents and grandparents are to use the Bible to shapes who a child becomes and how the child lives. This is the pattern and command of Scripture. Parents and grandparents in Deuteronomy were commanded to teach the law of God (ten commandments) to children so that future generations develop an understanding of right and wrong. The father and mother in Proverbs provide an example how to train children to develop a biblical view of life as they instruct their son to make wise choices about friendship (1:10), money (3:9), marriage (5:18), and work (6:6), and more. The grandparents of Titus 2 shape future generations by providing character training and guidance how to be a godly mother and wife.

There is no substitute for living in a manner worthy of the gospel, but also let us commit to verbally teaching biblical truths to the next generation so that they may develop a deep, lasting, Scripture-saturated faith. Click To Tweet

There is no substitute for living in a manner worthy of the gospel, but also let us commit to verbally teaching biblical truths to the next generation so that they may develop a deep, lasting, Scripture-saturated faith.

Training Children in the Lord: An Exhortation and Encouragement

Research reveals that over 90 percent of Christian parents know it’s their responsibility to raise their children to know, love, and serve Jesus. Research also suggests that low numbers of Christian parents regularly read the Bible with their children, discuss matters of faith, or have a plan to raise their children in the Lord. Apparently, not much has changed over the last 300 years.

In 1732, a Puritan pastor named Philip Doddridge preached a series of four sermons on the religious education of children. His purpose was to encourage and exhort parents to take seriously their responsibility to train up their children in the Lord. Doddridge preached the sermon series because he was alarmed at the high number of parents in his congregation who were neglecting to raise their children in the instruction of the Lord.

Doddridge admonished his congregation that they taught their children to read, but not to read the Bible. He boldly proclaimed that parents were willing to care for their own bodies by feeding themselves bread, but not care for the souls of their children by feeding them daily bread from God’s word.

Doddridge asked the parents of his congregation a question that all Christian parents should be asking themselves:

Have you, from the very day of their birth to this time, ever spent one hour seriously instructing them in the knowledge of God and endeavoring to form them to His fear and service in setting before them the misery of their natural condition, and urging them to apply to Christ for life and salvation; in representing the solemnities of death, judgment, and the eternal world, and urging an immediate and diligent preparation for them?

Parents, when have you opened the Bible with your children to study God’s word? When have your prayed for them and with them? If this is not a normal part of your weekly routine may the words of Philip Doddridge remind you how critically important it is for you to train up your children in the Lord.

Your children are born with a corrupted nature, perverted by sin, ignorant of God, in a state of growing enmity to Him, and, in consequence of all, exposed to His wrath and curse, and in the way to everlasting ruin.

May these strong words serve to prevent you from spiritual negligence, exhort you to action, and encourage you toward intentionality.

Why Have Children? Three Compelling Reasons to Discuss With Your Child

Excerpt from Preparing Children for Marriage

Are you ready to have a fun discussion with your children? Ask them if they plan to have children and how many they would like to have. When I bring up this topic in premarital counseling, many young couples admit that they haven’t given it much thought. If they haven’t thought about it, that means their parents haven’t talked about it. That’s problematic because the cultural messages that young people hear on this subject are often anti-children. Let me give you a taste.

Comedian Rita Rudner once said, “My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.” Pets have become replacements for children and have been one reason the pet market has increased in the United States from 17 billion in 1994 to over 60 billion today.[i] Many young couples are choosing pets in place of children because, as one sarcastic card says, they are “cleaner, cheaper, cuter, easier to train, and don’t ruin all my life plans and goals.”

Honda CR-V ran a full-page ad with the question, “Before I have children I want to ____.” Under the question are pictures of all kinds of adventures and accomplishments: learning to play the banjo, skydiving, sailing, running a marathon, and climbing the corporate ladder. It encouraged young people to do everything on their to-do list before they took the next step and had children.

The “childfree and loving it” movement suggests that childlessness is a superior lifestyle choice and provides plenty of books to help couples navigate this world. Two examples are No Kids: 40 Good Reasons NOT to Have Kids[ii] and Two is Enough: A Couple’s Guide to Living Childless by Choice.[iii] They argue that having children leads to unhappiness, economic challenges, decrease in marital satisfaction, and lasts for life.

What is the driving motivation behind a movement to discourage becoming a parent? Selfishness. Having children, the argument goes, will collide with your life plan, all the stuff you want to do, and your happiness. According to this viewpoint, children are a burden, not a blessing.

In their book Start Your Family, Candice and Steve Watters make this insightful point:

Couples weighing the decision to start a family are increasingly surrounded by books, articles and Web sites spotlighting the costs and sacrifices ahead of them. Those messages encourage couples to think long and hard about the world they’d be bringing children into, and remind them to count all the costs before making such a monumental decision. Caution and preparation are helpful, but sometimes it seems that’s all couples can find on the topic of having kids these days. Churches often have little to offer on this subject. Increasingly, though, it takes vision for “why” to overcome the growing—and often compelling—arguments for “why not.”[iv]

Candice and Steve apply their observations to the church, and pastors should listen up. But these observations apply to parents as well. Parents and pastors need to talk with young people about this subject and help them embrace a biblical view of childbearing.

Can you provide a compelling biblical vision for your child to combat the arguments for “why not”? Separating marriage from childbearing in discussions is a disservice to young people. Our culture has created an unnatural division between them, but the Bible provides a very different picture. Your child needs a grand, Jesus-centered, countercultural vision as to why they should have children.

Your child needs a grand, Jesus-centered, countercultural vision as to why they should have children. Click To Tweet

I summarize the biblical and the cultural message in the following way: early, often, and many instead of late, long, and few. American culture tells young people to delay having children until later in life, wait longer between having children, and only have one or two total. The unwritten rule is that you can have a third child if the first two were the same gender and you want to try for a child of the opposite gender. If you have four children, people will remind you that there are ways to prevent this from happening. Have five or more children, welcome to the freak show.

Why have children? First, God commands married couples to have children. In Genesis 1:28 we are told, “God blessed [Adam and Eve]. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.’” This is the first command God gives to humans, and it comes right on the heels of marriage. God blessed Adam and Eve’s marriage and then told them to work and have babies so that they could be good stewards of God’s creation. Because of the biblical command, it should not be a matter of if your child will have kids when he or she is married, but how many he or she will have.

How many children should you encourage your child to have? The Bible never gives a number, so I won’t either. There are small families and large families in the Bible: families with one child and families the size of a small orphanage. Roy Zuck claims that the average number of children per monogamous couple in the Bible is 6.1.[v] That doesn’t mean we need to aim for that number. But the pattern of Scripture is helpful to recognize. The Bible is always pro-children, and you and your child should be pro-children too. I’ve had countless older couples tell me, “We wish we had more children,” but I’ve never had parents tell me that they wish they had one less (even though we’ve all had our moments).

Because God is pro-children, this should inform our decision-making. As you talk to your child, teach him or her the “round up” principle. When deciding whether or not to have a child, round up to the higher number. One child or two? Round up to two. Two or three children? Round up to three. Three or four children? Round up to four. You get the point. When culture says, “Late, long, and few,” the Bible says, Early, often, and many.”

Second, the Bible speaks of having children as desirable. Having many children is viewed as a blessing from God, while barrenness is painful (and my heart goes out to anyone who has felt this pain). A full quiver (many children) is described as a good thing (Ps. 127:5). Leah’s response at the birth of her son reflects the Bible’s overall demeanor toward children: “Leah said, ‘Happy am I!’” (Gen. 30:13). In the Bible, women of faith pursue childbirth, as it is motherhood that makes the world’s salvation possible through the birth of Jesus (1 Tim. 2:15). In addition, children are the Bible’s retirement plan (1 Tim. 5:8) and help us understand the Father heart of God.

One author notes, “The kingdom of God looks like a busy cul-de-sac filled with playful children, not an intimate table for two. As Zechariah 8:5 puts it, ‘the streets of [Zion] shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets.”[vi] If the kingdom of God is filled with children, doesn’t it make sense for your child’s home to be filled as well?

Third, having children is a means to grow faith in God. Parenthood causes us to be in the very place God wants us—in a state of total dependence on him. Remember all the “what if’s” that run through a person’s head at times like this? What if I can’t afford another child? What if I don’t have enough love or time for another child? What if the child has a disability or is difficult to parent? What if my child grows up to love the Green Bay Packers? (Agreed—that would be horrible.) Your child may head toward the late, long, and few route as the “what ifs” become convincing. If this is your child’s path, this is where you must nudge him or her to trust God and to depend on him to provide for future needs.

To “be fruitful and multiply” is one of the purposes of marriage. In God’s plan, children are brought into the world through marriage, which is meant to serve as the primary evangelism and discipleship center for children. In the Bible, marriage and childbearing are so closely connected that one could argue that if a young person is not ready to have children, he or she is not ready for marriage. A childless or child-lite marriage deviates from God’s expected norm and ought not to be purposefully pursued. Pro-children. This is what I see in Scripture and what I encourage you to impress on your child.

[i] American Pet Products Association, “Pet Industry Market Size & Ownership Statistics,” 2016,

[ii] Corinne Maier, No Kids: 40 Good Reasons NOT to Have Kids (Canada: Emblem Editions, 2009).

[iii] Laura S. Scott, Two is Enough: A Couple’s Guide to Living Childless by Choice (Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2009).

[iv] Candice and Steve Watters, Start Your Family: Inspiration for Having Babies (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2009), 2.

[v] Roy Zuck, Precious in His Sight: Childhood and Children in the Bible (Grand Rapids: Baker Books), 92.

[vi] David Schrock, “A Blessed Necessity for Every Marriage” (Journal of Discipleship and Family Ministry, Winter 2013), 64.

In Jesus Name, Amen: The Most Powerful Words You Can Say

A gospel shaped parent or grandparent is a praying person because there is the recognition that we are powerless to change a heart and are completely dependent upon God. I am reminded of Paul’s words in 1 Thessalonians 1:2, “We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers.”

The most powerful words you can ever say on behalf of your family are the words, “In Jesus name, Amen.” Click To Tweet

The most powerful words you can ever say on behalf of your family are the words, “In Jesus name, Amen.” There are plenty of excuses not to pray such as busyness, short attention span, or lack of desire. If you are not praying daily for your children, grandchildren and future generations, then may these voices from the past encourage you to make prayer a priority:

  • “God does nothing but by prayer, and everything with it.” John Wesley
  • “No duty is more earnestly impressed upon us in Scripture than the duty of continual communion with Him.” David McIntyre
  • “Prayer does not fit us for the greater work; prayer is the greater work.” Oswald Chambers
  • “Prayer is the forerunner of mercy. Turn to sacred history, and you will find that scarecely ever did a great mercy come to this world unheralded by supplication.” Charles Spurgeon
  • “Next to the wonder of seeing my Savior will be, I think, the wonder that I made so little use of the power of prayer.”  D.L. Moody
  • “The greatest tragedy in life is not unanswered prayer, but unoffered prayer.” F.B. Meyer
  • “The devil is aware that one hour of close fellowship, hearty converse with God in prayer, is able to pull down what he hath been contriving and building many a year.” John Flavel
  • “There is no way that Christians, in a private capacity, can do so much to promote the work of God and advance the kingdom of Christ as by prayer.” Jonathan Edwards
  • “As it is the business of tailors to make clothes, and the business of cobblers to mend shoes, so it is the business of Christians to pray!” Martin Luther
  • “Search for a person who claims to have found Christ apart from someone else’s prayer, and your search may go on forever.” E. Bauman

Blessed is the child or grandchild that has a praying parent and grandparent. What families need today are not new and novel methods, but people who are mighty in prayer. God is able to do immeasurable more than we imagine. Through prayer God can transform the hardest heart or restore the most challenging relationship.