Most grandparents today are long distant grandparents. That means that their grandchildren, or some of their grandchildren, live two hours or more away. Most live much farther than that. For a large percentage of grandparents, none of their grandchildren live close.

Technological Blessings

We are fortunate to live in a day when technology gives us some advantages when it comes to connecting with long distant grandchildren and their parents. Our best friends have watched their two oldest grandchildren grow from birth into adulthood while living some 4500 miles across the pond. Skype, Facebook, email, cell phones, and occasional airfare bargains have made it possible to stay meaningfully connected. 

While technology has certainly provided a significant advantage for grandparents today compared to 50 years ago, long distant grandparents still feel the pain of separation. Seeing their faces on a screen is not the same as being able to hug them or kiss them—to just be able to touch them and share spontaneous moments with them. It’s just not the same.

Intentionality Without Proximity

Yet, we may not have any choice in the matter. So, how can long distant grandparents make the best of this disadvantage caused by physical distance? How can we have maximum impact upon our grandchildren so that we stay connected and engage them in matters of life and faith?

I’ve asked Wayne and Marci Rice to share their story and how they have chosen to make the best of it. Some grandparents have lived with the long distance factor since their grandchildren were born. Others, like the Rices, who have lived close to their grandchildren and now find themselves separated by hundreds of miles, have to find a new way of keeping those relationships close.

Long distance grandparents are not doomed, or helpless to make a difference. Like any grandparent, our impact on a child’s life is determined more by our intentionality than our proximity. So, sit back and let Wayne and Marci Rice give you encouragement and hope. Over the next two podcasts, they will share how to use technology and non-technological means to keep the relationships alive.

Click here to listen to the first session.

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:16

If God is Sovereign and already knows the beginning from the end, why do we need to pray? Can our prayers truly influence a Sovereign God?

While most Christians may not think of it that way, isn’t the reason more of us do not pray fervently and tirelessly is that we simply do not believe James when he says that our prayers will make a difference? Is it possible we have doubts that our prayers can be powerful and effective to influence the hand of God?

George Mueller, born in Germany in 1805, lived most of his life in Bristol, England. Without every asking anyone for money directly, he simply prayed and trusted God to provide for the care of thousands of orphans in his five orphanages. The Lord supplied the modern-day equivalent of millions of dollars for those orphanages and other ministries he started simply through prayer. At times, no food could be found in the pantries of an orphanage, but George Mueller prayed and gave thanks to God for His provisions. The orphans saw God provide all that they needed, sometimes at the very moment they sat down to an empty table. George Mueller believed in the sovereignty of God, and yet prayed fervently believing God would show Himself faithful and gracious.

Abraham asked God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah should a few righteous people be found there, even after God told him he would destroy them. God agreed to withhold his judgment if just a handful of righteous men could be found. Samuel, Elijah, David, and Daniel prayed frequently and specifically, and God answered. Even our Lord Jesus, the Son of God, prayed often and taught His disciples to pray. Jesus knew the heart and will of the Father, yet He still prayed.

If our Lord taught and practiced prayer, why would we, as grandparents, not believe in the power and effectual nature of prayer to keep our grandchildren from the evil one and to plead for their salvation? We know the Father is not willing that any of His “little ones” should perish. We also know Jesus taught that some spiritual battels can only be overcome through prayer and fasting. So, why would we not take prayer seriously?

Grandparents frequently ask me what they can do when things get hard – when the parents of their grandchildren want nothing to do with Christ; when their grandchildren make bad choices; when they have little contact with their grandchildren. They often ask because they assume there are some kind of secret “solutions” they must not know which they can put into practice.

The good news is that there is a “secret” weapon that is no secret at all: PRAYER. This is not a weapon of last resort, but our first line of offense and defense. This is a call to grandparents who follow Christ to get on your knees so you can stand against the treachery of the Enemy who would devour and take captive the hearts, minds and souls of our grandchildren! PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!

I also urge you to listen to this week’s Family Impact Podcast with Sherry Schumann, our Co-Director of Prayer Ministry at CGN. Sherry talks about the importance of guarding our own hearts by, ironically, submitting to Him in prayer. Sherry will inspire you and stir you to take this thing we call prayer seriously. She will remind you that the prayer of a righteous person matters. Prayer has power to move the hand of our Sovereign God to do more than we can ever imagine.

GRANDPAUSE: Prayer is a mighty instrument, not for getting man’s will done in heaven, but for getting God’s will done in earth. –Robert Law

Impress them on your children (grandchildren). Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you rise up.
Deut. 6:7

Jake’s Story

When young Jake showed up with his grandmother, I could tell he was not happy to be there. There was a lot of pouting and sitting on the sidelines during the first day. Grandmas was struggling with how to connect with her grandson.

The second day included a planned white water rafting trip. Jake was determined he was not going to do it. After talking through some of his fears, he reluctantly agreed to go. That rafting trip with his grandmother changed everything for Jake.

Jake came out of his shell and began interacting with the other participants. He became a participant himself, instead of an observer. Most importantly, his grandmother found him eager to engage in some very deep and meaningful conversations, especially at evening Family Time. He had lots of questions, and wanted to learn. Within a few weeks after GrandCamp, his grandmother shared with me that Jake had given his life to Christ.

A Transformational Impact

Jake’s story is only one example of the transformational impact that can be made in a child’s life (and in a grandparent’s life) through GrandCamp. Many grandparents have limited opportunities to spend five quality days of intimate, intentional relationship building experiences with their grandchildren. GrandCamp makes that possible, and it also gives parents some much needed time to themselves.

On our Family Impact Podcast today you will hear the testimony of Jim and Gwen Colfer sharing how their grandchildren’s spiritual journey and growth was impacted at GrandCamp, where the command of Deuteronomy 6:7 is put into practice.

For five days, GrandCamp becomes ‘home’ where you sit at the family table together, you walk along the road of doing life together, you discover the power of Family Time as you prepare to lie down, and the delights of rising up in anticipation of all the God is going to do that day.

Take Action

I urge you to listen to Jim and Gwen’s story on today podcast, and then take action. Take the next step to investigate the possibility of taking one or more of your grade-school age grandchildren to one of the six GrandCamps available this summer. Ask yourself what better investment of time and money you could make in your grandchildren’s lives than five days together at GrandCamp.

Sign up now to experience the unique faith adventures of GrandCamp. There you will find help to begin or continue building a legacy of faith shaped by the Gospel so another generation will know, love and follow Christ.

GRANDPAUSE: He is the God of boundless resources. The only limit is in us. Our asking, our thinking, our praying are too small; our expectations are too limited. –A. B. Simpson 

“Whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.”  Matt. 18:5

You’ve heard me say it over and over. Godly parenting and grandparenting demands intentionality. Will I pursue God’s agenda or my own? That was part of the challenge God laid before His people through Jeremiah when He told them to “ask where the good way is, and walk in it” (Jeremiah 6:16). The ‘good way’ is the way of intentional travelers whose destination is rest for the soul.

Jesus made it very clear to His disciples that one marker of a person who walks in the “good way” is found in one’s attitude towards children. Do we possess as welcoming heart, or not? And is our welcoming heart displayed only to our own grandchildren, or to all children? Jesus calls us to proactively welcome children because in so doing we declare our allegiance to Christ and the heart of the Father to do all we can to not let any of these little ones perish.

What does it mean to welcome a little child?  Perhaps we might begin answering that by looking at what it does NOT mean. It does not mean worshiping children and making them the center of the universe (not anything a grandparent would do, right? At the same time, it does not mean treating them with contempt as second-class citizens. It does not mean ignoring our responsibility to guide them, teach them and embrace them lovingly. It does not mean getting upset because they aren’t acting like adults when they run through the church halls. It does not mean getting irritated with a child for crying in the worship service (I might get irritated at an irresponsible parent, but not the child). It does not mean doing anything that would hinder a child from coming to Christ and knowing how precious they are.

What it does mean is showing interest in them as valued persons made in God’s image. It does mean speaking kindly to them, getting down to their level to engage them. It may mean volunteering to help in the children’s area once a month. It means seeing them as precious to God, rather than a bother.

Most grandparents love their grandchildren. We want to enjoy them. But do we welcome their questions, or their intrusions on our space the way Christ welcomes them?

Welcoming children is something Jesus takes very seriously. In fact, He makes it very clear that to hinder a child from coming to Him in any way, whether directly or indirectly, is to risk severe consequences. Good way travelers look for ways to reach out and welcome the children in their family, their church, and their neighborhood, rather than ignoring them or complaining about them. The thing about choosing to travel the good way marked out by God’s Word is that it always leads to rest for our souls… and likely the children in our path.

Amazing isn’t it! A welcoming heart leads to a restful soul.

GRANDPAUSE:Whoever receives one child like this in My name, receives Me; and whoever receives Me does not receive Me, but Him who sent Me (Mark 9:34-37). Therefore, how we deal with children is a signal of our fellowship with God. -John Piper

Guest Blogger Mark Gregston
Spend time with the wise and you will become wise, but the friends of fools will suffer.
(Proverbs 13:20 NCV)

People have a propensity to complain about the youth of today. Throughout history, there is ample evidence of moanings and groanings about young people, and how their attitudes and actions are destroying the very moral fiber of our country. We tend to recall our time of adolescence as a wonderful time of innocence and wonder.

I’ve found inter-generational connection doesn’t automatically happen simply because you are a grandparent or parent. Deep engagement isn’t inherited; it’s cultivated. You cultivate it every time you are intentional in reaching out to your grandchildren in ways that make them want to reach back.

This process begins with grandparents asking questions. Hopefully, it then blossoms into a relationship where the grandchild asks the questions. This exchange is a process; one I’ve learned from my relationships with thousands of teens at Heartlight, a Christian residential counseling center I founded almost 30 years ago.

There are five necessary steps (or keys) in this process of engagement and connection with your adolescent (and sometimes older) grandkids. Let’s unpack them a little here.

Show Interest

During the first years of our grandkids’ lives, I think we get involved for our own selfish reasons. We love their cuteness, enjoy watching them grow, feel ecstatic when they give us a name. Grandbabies make us feel good, look good, and put a smile on our face.

If your grandchild feels for a moment that your purpose and intent in their life is just to transfer all the wisdom you’ve gained in life, you will bore them to tears. You may think adolescents and teens have no common sense, but they can be incredibly savvy. And they can quickly spot a fake. Remember, grandparenting is not about you. It’s about your grandkids.

Paul writes about this when he says to the Philippians, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4).

One of the hardest challenges of grandparenting is sharing the wisdom you have gathered through life in a way that applies to their world and their culture, not the world you grew up in and learned from.

Adapt to Their World

Okay, so you live in a world of immodest girls who are unladylike in their behavior, foolish boys who think only of themselves, a world where kids have a great sense of entitlement. They are impatient, know everything, and hardly respect their elders. That is the world of kids today, it seems. But it’s the world your grandkids have to live in.

If you want to be an influence and make an impact on their lives, then you will have to adapt your message so it includes an understanding of the world they live in. When I say adapt, I’m not telling you to scrap your standards or beliefs and discard what you hold to be true and valuable. Apply it all to their world.

If your message is relevant, don’t change your content. Do change the way you approach it and say it so the intended recipients of the message can embrace the message, engage with applicability, and value the effectiveness of the wisdom shared.

Next week, Mark will address the final three keys for cultivating engaging relationships with your older grandchildren.

Known as the “Teen Whisperer,” Mark Gregston can be heard on his nationally award-winning radio program, Parenting Today’s Teens with Mark Gregston, as well as his new book, Leaving a Legacy of Hope: Offering Your Grandchildren What No One Else Can. Mark is the founder of Heartlight, a Christian residential counseling center for struggling teens for nearly 30 years.