Courageous Grandparenting Blog Archives - Page 16 of 17

The Three D’s of Successful Grandparenting

GrandPause: Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. -Unknown

Most grandparents I know want to be liked by their grandchildren. But is being liked by your grandkids what it means to be a successful grandparent?

Mama Cass Elliot, of the famed Mamas and Papas, had a 1968 hit a song called Dream A Little Dream of Me. It was a Mama Cass favorite. The refrain went like this:

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you,
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you.
But in your dreams, whatever they be,
Dream a little dream of me.

Like Mama Cass, all of us long for love—someone to dream about and who dreams about us. After all, who doesn’t want to know that someone cares enough to make us a meaningful part of his or her dreams?

Grandparents want that too.

How Will You Sing Them Home?

by Cavin Harper

“To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power for ever and ever!” Rev. 5:13

The movie Australia a moving story dealing with the destructive evils of greed, pride and prejudice in that vast land surrounding the WWII years. The film depicts the powerful role of song and story among the Aboriginal and a young Aborigine boy. Separated from his newly “adopted” English mother because of tragic circumstances, he says, “I will sing you to me. I will sing you home.”

The power of song has long been established even in Scripture. From Moses to David, music was a primary instrument for telling story. As the singers and musicians sang and played at the dedication of Solomon’s Temple, the glory of the Lord filled the place. Elisha called for a harpist to as he prepared to receive a message from the Lord. God told Jehoshaphat to appoint singers to lead the army in battle to defeat the Ammonites without any losses to their own army. Zephaniah records how God rejoices over us with singing. And in Revelation, we have many examples of singing that tells the story of redemption and declares the praises of His people over Him.

Are You Content?

by Cavin Harper

Godliness with contentment is great gain. 1 Tim. 6:6

Most Americans comprise that 5% part of the world’s population that possesses 95% of the world’s wealth. It doesn’t take long to figure out that in spite of material options and resources discontentment still reigns. Enough is never enough. We always want more and savvy marketers understand that and make sure we are constantly reminded of it.

We might assume that the other 95% with little or nothing are fatalistically content with their circumstances. But that is not true. The poor worry about what to eat or even where to sleep. They envy the rich and will even steal from each other to get more. Discontentment is just as rampant among the poor as it is the rich. Contentment is the illusive longing of every human being, no matter what the circumstance. So, where do we find contentment?

Are You a Peacemaker or Peacekeeper?

by Cavin Harper

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Mt. 5:9

Hallmark #7 of a blessed life: Peacemaker

What would it be worth to you to know that the legacy you left your grandchildren really made a difference?

When Bob (fondly known as Poppy) died, his grandchildren had a lot to say about the powerful legacy their grandfather left to them. One of his grandchildren said it best: “Poppy taught us that living in Christ’s shalom (peace) was also about living out Christ’s shalom—to be the instrument of His peace among family and anyone else that God brought across his path. Poppy could diffuse a quarrel with ease because the peace of God, which surpasses understanding, reigned in his life.”

Peacemakers are important to our Lord because peace is God’s work and ultimate objective in all His creation.

The Life-Giving (or Life-Stealing) Power of Words

by Cavin Harper

“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” (Prov. 15:4)

In the 2008 film, Doubt, Sister Aloysius is a school principal who rules by fear and mean-spirited discipline. She chooses to focus on other’s faults rather than their strengths and potential. She always believes the worst and her speech breeds cursing and violence rather than blessing and peace. Unfortunately, Sister Aloysius’ pattern of evaluating and treating her students is not at all uncommon in many homes today. Our prisons are filled with those who have never heard words of praise—only cursing—from parents and others.

What is the Direction of Your Heart?

by Cavin Harper

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Matt. 5:8

Chariots of Fire is the story of two athletes competing in the 1924 Olympics: Eric Liddell and Harold Abrahams. If you’ve seen the film, you will likely remember that only one of the two actually made the great impact on the lives of people worldwide and is still remembered more than any of the other athletes who ran for gold medals in 1924. It was Eric Liddell. Why is that?

When you look at the life and character of Eric Liddell in contrast to Harold Abrahams and other talented athletes in the film, what stands out is the singular direction and commitment of Eric’s heart. When his sister chides him for running competitively instead of pursuing his missionary work in China, he replies, “I believe God made me for a purpose. But he also made me fast, and when I run, I feel His pleasure.” It was this singular focus of his heart on God’s purpose and glory that brought him to the attention of the world when he refused to compromise his beliefs for worldly accomplishments. He never lost sight of who he was and why God made him.

And that brings us to the sixth Hallmark of a truly blessed life from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount:

What is the Attitude of Your Heart?

by Cavin Harper

Mickey Mantle, one of the most famous baseball players in the history of the sport, lived a very troubled and reckless life. For all the acclaim he received for his accomplishments on the field, Mickey Mantle was also an alcoholic and womanizer off the field. He openly admitted later in life to the damage his merciless and often cruel behavior caused family, friends and fans.

His friend and teammate, Bobby Richardson, was a major influence in Mantle becoming a born-again Christian later in life, resulting in a dramatic change. Still, his body had already suffered the consequences for choices made during his career. In 1995 he had a liver transplant due to the ravages of his alcoholism and newly discovered cancer.

One account of his life reported that after his liver transplant someone asked him if he would ever donate one of his organs to someone who needed it. His reply surprised everyone. Read more

What Consumes Your Heart?

by Cavin Harper

As water reflects the face, so a man’s heart reflects the man. –Prov. 27:19

Caleb had every reason to be discouraged. He had been snubbed by the majority, even though he believed God and knew His promise was sound. Because the majority would not submit to God’s plan, they wandered in a desert for forty years. No one from that generation, except Caleb and Joshua, lived to enter the Promise Land.

Now at eighty-five, it was time to claim the promise God had made to him forty years earlier. For most men, this would have been a good excuse to sit back and turn the helm over to the young bucks in the group. But not Caleb. Listen to his own words: “I am just as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me the hill country that the Lord promised me that day.” Wow! I want to be like Caleb.

How is it that Caleb could say such things and be so vigorous at eighty-five? Because, as the record clearly states, he followed the Lord his God wholeheartedly. What does it mean to be wholehearted? As it turns out, this is one of the next two hallmarks of a guarded, and blessed heart that Jesus taught that we will be examining. A wholehearted heart also implies a heart that is absolutely submitted to God and His commands. So, let’s look at these two qualities of a heart after God’s own heart.

How Would Your Grandchildren Describe Your Heart?

by Cavin Harper

Grandpause: Blessedness does not lie in externals. -Thomas Watson

Her name was Susan Walker. We were both in the fourth grade and I was gobsmacked by her beauty. She was my first crush and I was obsessed by thoughts of her. At least until I turned on the Mickey Mouse Club program after school and the angelic face of Mouseketeer Annette Funicello appeared on the screen. My heart pounded when a camera zoomed in for a close up, and I forgot all about Susan Walker.

As kids our hearts were in a constant tug-o-war with new things and people that competed for our heart’s attention. A nine-year old doesn’t often think about whether the tug at his or her heart is a good or not, or if it is something that will last. He’s just responding to a strong, exciting emotional pull that he may not have experienced before. It’s hard to resist.

Are You Committed to Excellent Grandparenting?

by Cavin Harper

Grandpause:

“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” Dt. 4:9

“Our strategic calling as grandparents requires that we stay connected, emotionally engaged, and personally involved in our children’s and grandchildren’s lives.” – Tim & Darcy Kimmell

For four years Jim and Gwen participated in our GrandCamp in Colorado with their four grandchildren. When Jim’s health made it difficult for him to cope with the altitude, undeterred they began planning for their own special “Cousins’ GrandCamp”. They were determined to continue what they considered to be a rich tradition that was having a positive impact on their grandchildren, who are now all teenagers.

They prayed that God would truly use what they had learned from previous GrandCamp experiences to remind their grandchildren about God’s grace and truth, prepare them for the challenges ahead, and equip them to live as wholehearted followers of Christ. They are currently planning their fourth annual Cousins GrandCamp filled with morning to evening activity, all purposefully orchestrated to maximize their time together. And the grandkids can’t wait. It’s one of the highlights of their year every year.

Why would grandparents go to such lengths to plan such an involved event?

Get the latest updates, blogs, resources and more.