Courageous Grandparenting Blog Archives - Page 15 of 17

Never Too Late to Honor Your Father

GrandPause: Honor your parents because God said so—no matter what age you are. –James MacDonald

If we take the Bible seriously (you do, right?), then we know that finding a way to honor our parents, no matter who they have been, no matter what they have done, is a very significant action. I’m serious. The Bible is filled with stories of people who honored their parents and succeeded and of those who did not honor their parents and failed. If you’re alive, you’ve got parents (even if they are no longer living)—and God’s command is to honor them (see Exodus 20:12).

These words from James MacDonald, pastor of Chicago’s Harvest Bible Chapel, are important words for us to hear as grandparents. When Father’s Day comes around, do we think about our own fathers and our responsibility to honor them? What example and message do we send to our grandchildren by the manner in which we treat or speak of our own fathers?

Means #3: Preparing Your Grandchildren for Adulthood

by Cavin Harper

MEANS #3: PREPARING YOUR GRANDCHILDREN FOR ADULTHOOD

GrandPause: May the Lord bless you and keep you… and give you peace (Num.6:24-26)

Obviously, the ideal scenario for preparing and equipping our grandchildren for adulthood is a strong, healthy alliance with our adult children. I believe that is how God would want it as well. However, in the face of obstacles that make such an alliance difficult or impossible, we must realize that God has not left us without certain means for helping our grandchildren prepare to walk in the truth as adults moving towards full maturity in Christ.

My last blog focused on the means of living intentionally as examples of Christlikeness through intentional praying and intentional serving. In this post, I want to address one other very powerful means, or tool, God has given us for this task.

Means #3: Be a Conduit of Blessing

The first act of God recorded in Scripture after the creation of man (male and female) was to pronounce a blessing. Read again what the Scriptures say: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it…’” (Genesis 1:27-28). Read more

Means #2: Preparing Your Grandchildren for Adulthood

by Cavin Harper

GrandPause:

Faith and works are like the light and heat of a candle; they cannot be separated.
Author Unknown

I am absolutely convinced that no matter how a good a job parents or grandparents do, there are still no guarantees our children and grandchildren will walk in the way of truth and faith in Christ. On the other hand, I am equally convinced that when we intentionally create a positive environment in which they are being prepared for adulthood, and they have seen genuine faith at work in us, well… let’s just say I’d rather have those odds. If we don’t do it, then we leave them to figure it out on their own… or learn from someone else. Which is the greater risk?

As I discussed last week, a good parent-grandparent partnership is a powerful tool for building that strong family environment where a child learns what it means to be an adult who walks in the truth. But what if that partnership is not possible. What if it just isn’t working like you would have hoped?

In spite of difficult situations, there are still two other powerful ‘means’ grandparents can employ to help their grandchildren mature into responsible adults who walk in God’s truth.

How Can Grandparents Help Their Grandchildren Prepare for Adulthood?

by Cavin Harper

GrandPause: When a village fails to initiate its boys into manhood, those same boys will burn down the village just to feel the heat. (Old African Proverb)

Have you noticed how often ‘village burnings’ are occurring in our society these days?

Besides the obvious examples of Ferguson, Berkeley, Baltimore and Brooklyn, there are plenty of other examples of ‘village burnings’: school shootings, gang violence, and cyber-bullying are but a few. Even Judge Judy’s courtroom is filled with young (and sometimes, not so young) plaintiffs and defendants trying to blame someone else for their own wrongful behavior. Our culture has become increasingly violent and self-centered where young adults act more like tantrum-throwing toddlers than mature adults.

While numerous reasons exist to explain such behaviors, at the top of the list has to be the failure of parents and society to prepare children for adulthood. Far too many parents and grandparents have bought into the adolescent lie and neglected their responsibility to train, model and then initiate their children into adulthood.

It is a serious enough problem that I am devoting my next three blogs to this topic. I will suggest three important means—or opportunities—that grandparents have at their disposal to help prepare their grandchildren for adulthood.

Is Prayer Really That Important?

by Cavin Harper

GrandPause: Prayer is the command center for our warfare. –C. Harper

Prayer is easy to talk about, but not as consistently practiced by many Christians. Is that because we don’t really believe that prayer is important? After all, we can’t see God and so talking to Him might seem unproductive or difficult. And anyway, God knows my heart, right? So why do I need to pray?

The fact that very few people show up for church prayer meetings says a great deal about the value and importance we place on prayer. Yet, the question that must be answered is, “Is prayer really important, and why?”

It’s interesting that when a national or personal crisis occurs and we feel helpless and vulnerable, one of the first things we do is call for prayer. So, deep in our souls we know that prayer is important, at least when we have no other options.

The truth is that we have a crisis right now that concerns the hearts and minds and eternal destiny of our grandchildren. Is that important enough to pray? Read more

Honor Your Father Campaign

by Cavin Harper

GrandPause: The fundamental deception of Satan is the lie that obedience can never bring happiness. R. C. Sproul

Only one of the Ten Commandments comes with a promise attached to it: “Honor your father and mother so that you may live long in the land.” God must give some unique importance to this seemingly inconspicuous command to attach a promise to it.

We just celebrated Mother’s Day last week as part of the commandment to honor our mothers and fathers. With Father’s Day just around the corner, I want to encourage all my readers to get involved in the Honor Your Father campaign being promoted in churches across America as a way to begin putting into practice this command of God.

There are more than enough examples of fatherless homes in our land today. Sadly, fatherlessness is a huge problem. I know that for some of you, the idea of honoring your father when he wasn’t much of a father can seem unrealistic—if not too much to ask. But I want to challenge that thinking in light of what God’s Word teaches us—something He takes very seriously.

grandmother and mother in living room with baby smiling xs 150x150

Sing Her Praises!

by Cavin Harper

GrandPause: Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her.

Proverbs 31:28

Peter was diagnosed with a deadly form of cancer and told he would not live out the year. As a dad of three young girls, the news was devastating. Lost in a fog of depression, his wife decided to arrange a trip to the mountains to cheer him up. She chose a place she knew would be special to him—a place with a lake like a mirror at the base of a forested and snowcapped mountain. The Forest Service built a cabin there that could be reserved, but there was a one-year wait list. She signed him up anyway.

When she told him what she had done, it only deepened his depression. “Everything there is so permanent,” he told her. “The mountain, the forest, the lake—but not me. One year from now I won’t be here.”

But Peter was wrong. A year later the mountain, the lake and the forest was gone. It all disappeared in the eruption of Mount St. Helens on Mothers’ Day, 1980. And Peter…? Well, the granted him many years of life after that.

Why this story other than it happened on Mothers’ Day? Because it serves as a reminder to me of the relentless love of a wife and mother that is more enduring than all the Mount St. Helens of our world. It is why we celebrate today this cherished gift God gave us—MOTHERS. There are few greater examples of sacrifice, unconditional love and perseverance than that of faithful, godly mothers and grandmothers.

Alongside mothers in particular, women in general—whether mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts—fill our lives with love and sparkle that we men dare not take for granted. I know that there are women for whom Mothers’ Day is an unpleasant reminder that they are not mothers when they so desperately want to be.

The Third ‘D’ of Successful Grandparenting

by Cavin Harper

DECISIONS

Trey is flunking almost all of his classes and will likely not graduate from high school this year. It’s interesting to hear his excuses: my teachers didn’t tell me what I needed to do to get my grades up to where I could graduate; I turned in most of my homework assignments—it’s not my fault they don’t have them; The school doesn’t take into account all the other things I have to do at school. How am I supposed to keep up with it all?

Trey has decided he is a victim. He is guided by his circumstances and there is nothing he can do about. His decision to be the victim, not the victor, will lead to a pre-determined destination, and it won’t be a good one. That brings us to our final D in this series on successful grandparenting.

#3: It Comes Down to DECISIONS

Three D’s of Successful Grandparenting-PART 3

by Cavin Harper

Michael Decalvo was running in a marathon race a number of years ago. When he came to a certain point in the race he noticed that several of the runners were heading off in a particular direction that he knew was the correct course direction. He tried to warn the runners that they were heading the wrong way, but they wouldn’t listen and even mocked him for suggesting that he knew better than they.

Though everyone crossed the finish line, in the end many of the runners were disqualified because they did not listen to Michael and ran off the designated course. When asked about it, Michael shrugged and said, “They thought it was funny that I would choose the direction I did. But now guess who’s laughing?”

We may know the destination we want to reach, but if we go the wrong direction to get there, we miss the mark. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No man comes to the Father but by me.” The fact is… Direction (our second D) determines Destination.

silhouette of a mother with her child on evening background Mk hjjuO

The Three D’s of Successful Grandparenting: PART 2

by Cavin Harper

DESTINATION

I used to love singing the refrain of this old hymn:

When we all get to heaven,
What a day of rejoicing that will be!
When we all see Jesus,
We’ll sing and shout the victory!

This song reflects a specific worldview, and as Chuck Colson used to relentlessly proclaim, “worldview matters!” Our worldview—how we see the world, what we believe and value in life that makes life worthwhile—ultimately determines the destination for which we strive.

If your worldview is summed up by the philosophy of ‘eat, drink and be merry,’ because you see nothing else to life, then it makes no difference what destination you choose. Anything is okay because it doesn’t matter. Heaven isn’t real, and the song means nothing.

For us who believe, if Christ is not risen from the dead, then as the apostle Paul declares, our faith is useless. There is no ultimate, higher reality to bother about, so go for whatever gusto pushes your button.

The truth is we place our hope in Christ because He is indeed risen! That means our longings and desires are for the destination about which we sing—the prize before us, the Eternal City promised to those whose life is hidden in Christ where there will be no more tears or sorrow, no more pain. It is destination where perfect peace and indescribable joy with our Savior, who gave Himself for us, will be forever and we’ll sing and shout the victory!

Which brings us to …

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