Courageous Grandparenting Blog Archives - Page 14 of 17

Praying Circles Around Your Grandkids

You may never be a perfect grandparent, but you can be a praying grandparent! Even our Lord made prayer a regular habit. Prayer was important enough to Him that He even taught His disciples how to pray as well. So, if prayer is important enough that the Son of God practiced it, why would grandparents (and parents) not take it seriously?

Prayer does not require a special calling, spiritual gift, or ordination. It is a privileged and vital responsibility that every grandparent can employ to impact a child’s life for eternity. James reminds us that “the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (Jas. 5:16).

Mark Batterson, author of Praying Circles Around Your Children wrote:
My Grandpa Johnson had a habit of kneeling by his bed at night, taking off his hearing aid, and praying for his family. He couldn’t hear himself, but everyone else in the house could. Few things are more powerful than hearing someone intercede on your behalf. His voiceprint left an imprint on my soul.

I’m following in my grandfather’s footsteps by getting on my knees and praying next to my bed… I realize not everyone inherited a prayer legacy from their parents or grandparents like I did, but you can leave a legacy for future generation.

What Would Be Different?

by Cavin Harper

“I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone…” I Timothy 2:1

My pastor once asked the question, “if tomorrow every reference to prayer in the Bible mysteriously disappeared, would anything today be different in your life from yesterday”? That was a very convicting question. Dick Eastmen would answer “no”. He has seen the power of God’s people around the world praying. As president of America’s National Prayer Committee and international president of Every Home for Christ, he makes this bold claim, “I maintain that prayer alone will remove every obstacle that stands in the way of finishing the task of world evangelization. And because the obstacles are yet many, we need more prayer.”

If he is correct, then as grandparents we ought to be praying as diligently and faithfully for our grandchildren as anyone, especially as we realize that the world they have to navigate is filled with every kind of evil obstacle. The question we must ask ourselves is whether we believe

Are You a Catalytic or Catatonic Grandparent?

by Cavin Harper

“Even when I am old and gray…I will declare Your power to the next generation, Your might to all who are to come.” Psalm 71:18

In 2007 Michelle Rhee became Chancellor of the District of Columbia Public Schools, one of the worst school systems in America. With declining test scores, graduation and enrollment, in three years of service, Michelle became a catalyst for change. In the face of huge opposition and controversy, she reversed the trends and produce remarkable growth in all areas during her brief tenure.

Catalytic people don’t cave when the odds appear insurmountable. They don’t make excuses about why something can’t be done or divert the responsibility elsewhere. Catalytic people just do what must be done. Catatonic people don’t seem to care, and so the idea of changing things is not even on their radar.

Today’s grandparents must face challenges not unlike what Michelle Rhee faced. Things today are much different than the world we knew as children. At times, it may feel overwhelming and even heartbreaking, but

Are You Whistling Past the Graveyard?

by Cavin Harper

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” I John 1:8

Speaking out in a young marrieds’ Sunday School class, one new mother adamantly declared, “I believe children are born good. Children learn about sin from other adults.” She would not accept the biblical teaching of original sin being discussed in the class. In her mind, children were too innocent to have a sinful nature. Chuck Colson once likened this thinking to “whistling past our children’s graveyard.”

William Golding didn’t believe in original sin either, at least until World War II changed his thinking. In 1954 he published his first novel, Lord of The Flies, a powerful and disturbing parable about the sin nature in every man, including children. The book describes what happens when kids stranded on an island lack any moral guidance by adults.

The evidence of what happens when adult moral guidance is missing is abundantly obvious in our day. Too many kids are raised in a moral vacuum and expected to figure things out for themselves. One mother shared how she encourages her teenage daughter to bring boyfriends home to have sex because she believes it will be safer. No discussion or consideration of moral implications and consequences is involved. This is her idea of providing moral guidance.

Warning! Fear-Mongers Ahead

by Cavin Harper

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity [fear], but of power, of love and of self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

About this you can be certain—these are uncertain times. Whether we’re talking about politics, economics, morality or the seeming endless media accounts of violence today, it can feel like fear-mongering is everywhere. We know that fear is a powerful tool in Satan’s hands that can paralyze us from taking action or manipulate us into wrong actions.

Perhaps similar to the construction signs we see warning of roadwork ahead, we need some caution signs posted on our TV’s, tablets, computers, and across the front pages of our newspapers warning us that the fear-mongers are ahead.

How would Christ want us to respond to the fears lurking around us in times like these? How ought we to model to our grandchildren an appropriate response to fear? How do we control fear rather than let fear control us?

10 Things One GrandDad Wishes Every Dad Knew

by Cavin Harper

Listen my son to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
(Prov. 4:1)

Forty-five years ago I became a father for the first time. At age 22 I was as green and wet behind the ears as you can get when it came to being a father. I didn’t know much but I was foolish enough to believe I could pretty much figure it out on my own. I wish I had known what I know now, and really sought the wisdom and counsel of my Dad and other godly men more often. After all, my Da and Mom raised six kids. I think they might have known a thing or two about parenting.

But the sad truth is that I almost never went to my Dad and asked his advise, and that was a mistake. So, now as a grandfather, I am going to take it upon myself to say what my father probably wishes he could have said. So, grandfathers, maybe you can find a way to share this post with your sons or sons-in-law and invite their feedback. If you’re a young dad, I hope you put these ten things into practice for your sake and your family’s sake.

So, here goes…

TEN THINGS ONE GRAND-DAD WISHES EVERY DAD KNEW (and put into practice):

Grand-Bits From GrandCamp

by Cavin Harper

GrandPause: Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength… (Isa. 40:31)

“I just want to keep coming to GrandCamp forever,” eight year-old Kate shared with me. Now in our seventeenth year of GrandCamp® programs, I’ve heard that statement many times from the grandchildren who come with their grandparents.

This week we completed the second of our three GrandCamp® programs this summer, this one in Estes Park, Colorado. This year’s theme, ON WINGS LIKE EAGLES, is based upon Isaiah 40:31 – “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.” I was overjoyed by the enthusiasm with which these grandchildren and their grandparents took this to heart. From Scripture memorization to team competitions, they did it all with vigor. Children love to learn, and they love learning God’s Word with their grandparents.

After seventeen years I never cease to be amazed by the way God works in lives. Children and grandparents come from all types of home situations.

Retirement Stop or Rest Area?

by Cavin Harper

If you’ve done any traveling this summer you have undoubtedly seen those welcome signs along the Interstate that say Rest Area. These strategically placed signs allow the traveler to take a respite from the journey to be refreshed before continuing on. Rest Areas, however, are not designed as destination points—only temporary rest stops.

God has intentionally placed Rest Stop signs in our life journey as well. They serve as a welcome and necessary reminder of our need to refocus our perspective. Sabbath days, holidays, vacations, and retirement are rest stops at which we have the opportunity to put into practice Psalm 46:10: Be still and know that I am God.

For those of us at that stage of life known as mid-life and beyond (with an emphasis on beyond), remember this: God will never place in our path a sign that says Retirement Stop – Exit Here.

Do Your Choices Matter?

by Cavin Harper

Life is about choices. In Jesus’ parable of the rich fool, the man in his story chose not to involve God in his decisions. Notice his response to the great wealth he accumulated:

“He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do?…
This is what I’ll do…
I’ll say to myself…” (Luke 12:16-19)

Do you see it? Not once did the rich fool ask God what he should do with this newly acquired extravagant wealth. He forgot that it was God who blessed him with an abundant crop. Instead of building barns for himself, he might have chosen to use it to bless others. But he chose to not acknowledge God’s blessing or involve God in his choices about what to do with all that he had received. He lost sight of the fact that God is always involved whether we want Him to be or not.

So, how do we teach our grandchildren to make good choices in life? It starts with the choices we make. If we go through life making important decisions without involving God, why would we expect that our grandchildren would do anything differently? The choices we make about everything God has given us, and what He asks us to do communicate the value we truly place on God’s wisdom and purposes for us. The rich fool thought he could choose his own course without God’s input, but God had other plans. Do you ever do the same?

Freedom is not about choosing to do whatever I want to do, but choosing God’s perfect way. Choosing how I use my retirement years—how I spend myself to bless others and fulfill God’s purposes for me—reveal whether God is involved in my choices or not. In the end, God will always be involved. The question is whether His involvement is because I choose to surrender to Him. It’s my choice, and your choice…and it is a choice that will speak volumes to our grandchildren about our heart.

Here are three practical ways to help you evaluate whether the choices you habitually make reflect the degree to which your life is rich towards God (vs. 21):

What Is Liberty?

by Cavin Harper

GrandPause: Liberty is God’s gift; liberties the devil’s.
(German proverb)

Abraham Lincoln used the wolf and the sheep to illustrate the conundrum people often face when it comes to the application of liberty. The shepherd, Mr. Lincoln noted, drives the wolf from the sheep, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty. Plainly, the sheep and the wolf are not agreed upon a definition of liberty.

As reflected in the German proverb above, we often confuse liberty and liberties. Self-centered, irresponsible people interpret liberty to mean whatever they please without any constraint by laws or rules of nature. This is, in fact, a prevalent attitude in politics and many discussions of individual liberty as described in the US Constitution.

True liberty is a mostly misunderstood concept in our day. Liberty is never about personal rights as much as it personal responsibilities for the good of others. It’s what Jesus modeled for us when he emptied Himself of His rights of equality with God to become a servant for our benefit. Liberty is being free to do that which is right and makes much of God’s goodness and greatness.

As we approach our annual Fourth of July celebrations as a nation, I thought it might be good for us to look back at the wisdom and insights of those whose views would be worth our further consideration and dialogue. These are truths we would do well to ponder, model and discuss with our grandchildren so that they are not tempted to redefine the meaning of liberty for their own purposes—like so many do today.

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