“My dad was never there.” “My dad was abusive, angry and critical.” “My dad was an alcoholic and addicted to porn.” “My dad loved his work more than his family.”

Perhaps you’ve heard statements like these. Some may describe your father… or perhaps one or more describe you. Why would I bring up such dark and depressing things on Father’s Day? Because dads matter, and it’s important that you understand how much you matter as a dad or granddad. More than 75% of all men in our prison system come from fatherless homes. Many more young men live in the equivalent of a fatherless home because Dad is passive and uninvolved. He provides little evidence to his sons of what it means to be a real man.

But, it’s not all bad news.

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Have you ever questioned your ability to make a difference in someone else’s life, especially if that life is one of your children or grandchildren? Are you watching a teenage grandchild or adult child making poor choices and wandering from the faith, and wondering whether your prayers really matter? If you do, you’re not alone.

Perhaps the following true story will encourage you to not give up. It has certainly reminded me of how important our prayers really are.

Growing up in a Christian home, attending church regularly, even attending a Christian school—none of these things guarantee a genuine faith we could call our own. That was John’s reality until the day his boys’ Bible class teacher announced a special Christmas project on the last day before Christmas break.

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7 POWERFUL WAYS TO BE A GRANDPARENT WHO MATTERS

If anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Matthew 18:6

I hear comments like these about grandparents more often than I would like:

“I’d like to have a special relationship with my grandparents, but they’re so critical. I just don’t want to be around them.”

“My parents are constantly undermining my parenting and relationship with our kids. Why can’t they support us?”

“I really want my children to know my parents. They’ve done such a great job parenting themselves. But they are completely disconnected from their grandchildren, and that grieves me a lot.”

I want to be fair and say that I also hear plenty of amazing stories about grandparents enjoying incredible relationships with their adult children and their grandchildren. Their stories move me to be an even better grandparent myself. Still, there is a lot of pain going around out there.

At CGN we stress the importance of strong, healthy adult-child relationships in famlies. I believe most of you want to be effective, intentional grandparents who really do matter in the lives of both grown children and grandchildren. So, I’d like to offer seven powerful ways you can be a grandparent who matters—the kind that both your grown children and your grandchildren really want to be around. Here they are: Read more

I recently read about Adam LaRoche’s sudden decision to retire from Major League Baseball after he was informed by the Chicago White Sox that his 14-year-old son, Drake, could no longer accompany him to the club house every day. Adam walked away from $13 million he would have been guaranteed for the remainder of his salary contract.

The interesting thing to me about this story is the reactions of people all over the internet. While many supported his decision believing LaRoche did the right thing, the majority of people criticized him for the decision. Some believed he had no business taking his son to the clubhouse every day in the first place and should have simply followed their demands. After all, who else can take their son or daughter to work every day? After all, it’s stupid to throw away $13M and let down the team just so his son could join him everyday in the clubhouse. What would it hurt to hang on six months and then retire? That’s just plain weird.

LaRoche, on the other hand, doesn’t see it that way. While admitting that he was mad when Ken Williams, the team’s vice president, told him he could no longer bring his son to the team clubhouse, he also acknowledged that he “gets it” and doesn’t hold a grudge. He even said he “can’t blame him’ for the decision. He gets it.

It’s just that Adam LaRoche has a different, in fact, peculiar, perspective  Read more

How do I handle a difficult relationship with my adult children so it doesn’t hinder my relationship with my grandchildren? How do I stay connected with my grandchildren as a long distance grandparent? What are ways I can share my faith more effectively with my grandchildren, especially as teenagers?

These are just a few of the questions I am constantly getting from grandparents—mostly questions common to many of us. Perhaps you have questions and concerns as a grandparent, and would welcome the opportunity to talk about them with other grandparents and someone experienced in dealing with some of these issues. If so, I’d like to invite you to join in the conversation through Grand Chats.

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