Incense bowl with smoke

Does the Resurrection Impact How You Pray?

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“If Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile.” (I Cor. 15:17)

Joyce sounded desperate when she called our ministry office. “I don’t know what to do,” she sobbed. “My daughter has turned against me, and won’t let me see my granddaughters because she doesn’t want me to talk to them about Jesus. What do I do?”Would it be insincere—a cop out—to tell Joyce to not give up, but to pray?

Should not prayer be the first and most important thing we do, and not only when there is a crisis? Why do we not pray more? Is it because our prayer life is not shaped by the reality and power of the Gospel?

When you pray, do you not know the Resurrection changes the game? If He is not risen, not only is my faith futile, but so are my prayers. Yet, now we know the risen Lord always intercedes for us (Heb. 7:25). We enter with confidence the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus (Heb. 10:19) where our prayers rise like incense before the Father (Rev. 5:8; 8:4).

How, then, ought this truth shape how we pray? Here are five ways the reality of the resurrection ought to impact our practice of prayer:

  1. Confidence: Confidence is not the same as arrogance. Arrogance is rooted in pride. It’s all about me. The Resurrection gives me confidence in the One who has power to answer my prayers and guarantees me the privilege to enter God’s presence knowing our High Priest, Jesus, intercedes for us. It frees me from anxiety about the outcome (Phil 4:6), and fills me with confidence that God hear us, delights in our coming to Him, and alone can do it.
  2. Awe and Wonder: The Resurrection not only give me confidence in Christ who can do all things, but who is over all things. Christ, our High Priest, has Supremacy and power over all whether visible or invisible (Col. 1:15-20). Because of Who He is and what He has done on our behalf brings an overwhelming sense of awe and wonder in my prayers. Hallowed be Thy Name!
  3. Humility: Because of the Cross and Christ’s Resurrection, I am driven to my knees in complete gratitude that I, who once was the object of His wrath (Eph. 2:3), am now invited into his Presence. The Resurrection changes my prayers from selfish demands and self-justification to pleas for mercy and grace for myself and others. My praying reflects the attitude of Christ (Phil. 2:5-11).
  4. Hope: Because He is risen, hope is alive in my praying. My hope is in Him, not my circumstances, and I find peace and encouragement in that hope. Hope is an “anchor for the soul, frim and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf” (Heb. 6:19).
  5. Submission: Christ’s resurrection frees me to submit to His authority and will. Knowing the Spirit searches my heart and intercedes for me, I also know that in all things God is working for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:26-28). My praying becomes an act of submission to the will of God. And why not? If He is for us, who can be against us? And that brings us back to confidence.

What better way to celebrate the Resurrection of Christ than to give thanks to Him who has granted us access to the throne of God. It will change why you pray and how you pray.

My prayer for you is that “the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelations, so that you may know Him better… and that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe” (Ephesians 1:17-19).

I pray also that you will have “confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, His body, and since we have a great priest of the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith” (Hebrews 10:19-22).

P.S.: Listen to the podcast with Sherry Schumann about guarding our hearts so that our prayers will be powerful and effective. Click here to listen to this podcast.

Praying hands

Who Really Believes Prayer Matters?

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The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:16

If God is Sovereign and already knows the beginning from the end, why do we need to pray? Can our prayers truly influence a Sovereign God?

While most Christians may not think of it that way, isn’t the reason more of us do not pray fervently and tirelessly is that we simply do not believe James when he says that our prayers will make a difference? Is it possible we have doubts that our prayers can be powerful and effective to influence the hand of God?

George Mueller, born in Germany in 1805, lived most of his life in Bristol, England. Without every asking anyone for money directly, he simply prayed and trusted God to provide for the care of thousands of orphans in his five orphanages. The Lord supplied the modern-day equivalent of millions of dollars for those orphanages and other ministries he started simply through prayer. At times, no food could be found in the pantries of an orphanage, but George Mueller prayed and gave thanks to God for His provisions. The orphans saw God provide all that they needed, sometimes at the very moment they sat down to an empty table. George Mueller believed in the sovereignty of God, and yet prayed fervently believing God would show Himself faithful and gracious.

Abraham asked God to spare Sodom and Gomorrah should a few righteous people be found there, even after God told him he would destroy them. God agreed to withhold his judgment if just a handful of righteous men could be found. Samuel, Elijah, David, and Daniel prayed frequently and specifically, and God answered. Even our Lord Jesus, the Son of God, prayed often and taught His disciples to pray. Jesus knew the heart and will of the Father, yet He still prayed.

If our Lord taught and practiced prayer, why would we, as grandparents, not believe in the power and effectual nature of prayer to keep our grandchildren from the evil one and to plead for their salvation? We know the Father is not willing that any of His “little ones” should perish. We also know Jesus taught that some spiritual battels can only be overcome through prayer and fasting. So, why would we not take prayer seriously?

Grandparents frequently ask me what they can do when things get hard – when the parents of their grandchildren want nothing to do with Christ; when their grandchildren make bad choices; when they have little contact with their grandchildren. They often ask because they assume there are some kind of secret “solutions” they must not know which they can put into practice.

The good news is that there is a “secret” weapon that is no secret at all: PRAYER. This is not a weapon of last resort, but our first line of offense and defense. This is a call to grandparents who follow Christ to get on your knees so you can stand against the treachery of the Enemy who would devour and take captive the hearts, minds and souls of our grandchildren! PRAY! PRAY! PRAY!

I also urge you to listen to this week’s Family Impact Podcast with Sherry Schumann, our Co-Director of Prayer Ministry at CGN. Sherry talks about the importance of guarding our own hearts by, ironically, submitting to Him in prayer. Sherry will inspire you and stir you to take this thing we call prayer seriously. She will remind you that the prayer of a righteous person matters. Prayer has power to move the hand of our Sovereign God to do more than we can ever imagine.

GRANDPAUSE: Prayer is a mighty instrument, not for getting man’s will done in heaven, but for getting God’s will done in earth. –Robert Law

man with tear

Are You Known for Tirades or Tears

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Do you remember the first time you heard the news that you would be a grandparent? First-time grandparents are usually quite excited when that day arrives. Few things provide more of a rush than holding that new grandson or granddaughter for the first time. Nearly twenty-one years later, I still remember that moment as though it were yesterday.

I also remember the terror I felt when I realized the kind of world my generation was leaving to this new generation—our grandchildren. It didn’t require a PhD to figure out that we are a nation of hard hearts who, for the most part, have forgotten or ignored God. The question that must answered is this—how do I respond when I look around and see the rubble in our land?

To be honest, it is easy to get angry and complain about the mess around us. I’m also prone to blame others rather than accept responsibility for the problem. The truth is that tirades and blame rarely turn into a passion for action.

How do you typically respond to the messes in the world we have left to our grandchildren? No matter how you respond, perhaps Nehemiah can teach us some lessons for the sake of the next generations.

If ever there was a man who was justified for casting blame, it was Nehemiah. Here was a man who had been born and raised in exile, far from his homeland. He wasn’t even around when God sent the Jews into exile. He could have washed his hands and said, “Not my problem!”—but he didn’t.

Read for yourself: “When I heard these things I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven” (Neh. 1:4).

When was the last time you wept over the condition of our land? Yet, when Nehemiah learned about the unrepaired, ruined condition of the walls in Jerusalem, that’s exactly what he did. He wept, just as Jesus wept when he saw the hard hearts of that same city hundreds of years later.

Unlike Nehemiah, we have no excuse. We are part of the problem. But like Nehemiah, we can benefit from his example. Here are four attitudes we need to adopt if we want to successfully help our grandchildren navigate this shattered world as grandparents whose hearts and minds are shaped by the Gospel:

  1. Let God break your heart: His heart is broken over the condition of our world, and it is why Jesus died on the Cross. If you can’t weep over the sin in our world, you will likely not be an effective conduit of His grace and truth in that world.
  2. Let your broken heart drive you to repentance and prayer: Notice that Nehemiah bowed before the God of heaven and confessed his sin and the sin of his father’s house. He acknowledged his responsibility. The problems in the world are your problems too. It is your sin as much as anyone else’s that has brought us to this place, yet, it can be redeemed.
  3. Ask God to grant you success to do something about the problem: Nehemiah prayed, give your servant success today. The Lord gives the victory. Ask Him for success that will glorify Him and bless the next generations. That’s the fruit of the Gospel in our lives.
  4. Do what God lays on your heart and trust Him to provide all you need: What has God laid upon your heart to help your grandchildren walk in the truth? Whatever it is, be intentional, and know that He has supplied all you need already to succeed. “His divine power has given us everything [emphasis mine] we need for life and godliness through out knowledge of Him who has called us by His glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3).

When Nehemiah followed what God laid upon his heart, results were amazing. The walls were completely rebuilt in fifty-two days!  But that wasn’t the only amazing thing that happened. In chapter six we read, “When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God.”

When you make much of Christ in all you do, your grandchildren will be able to see how great God truly is because He will do more than we can imagine or think. The choice is yours—tirades or tears? Which will describe your legacy?

A Tool with Transformational Power

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“You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well please.”
Luke 3:22

Who would not be profoundly impacted by words like the Father spoke to His Son in Luke 3? Imagine your earthly father speaking such powerful words over you. These are words that can have a transformational impact on any child.

Words are powerful. They can curse or bless. We know that the childhood verse we often heard or used as children, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me”, is a lie. Words can harm. Words of blessing can give a broken spirit new life.

When the Father spoke his blessing over His Son, Jesus, it was an intentional moment launching Jesus into His ministry for which He came, and declaring to all the Father’s pleasure in His Son. The Father also gave a powerful blessing to Aaron to speak over God’s people. It was to remind them who they were and whose they were. Aaron’s descendants we instructed to continue speaking this blessing for generations to come. Why? Because the Father wanted them to know that His Name was upon them and He delighted in blessing them. That blessing is found in Numbers 6: 24-26:

The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.

Grandparents, how well and often do you speak words of blessing like this over your grandchildren? While there is no biblical command directing us to speak blessing over our grandchildren (and children), we have so many powerful examples of it being done. If our heavenly Father felt it important, why would we question whether we should be doing it intentionally and often? What godly grandparent would not desire to speak words of blessings over their children and grandchildren as often as possible?

I recently interviewed Jim and Gwen Colfer on the Family Impact Podcast about the impact that the spoken blessing has had upon their family. I urge you to listen to that conversation, and to make a commitment to begin the practice of speaking blessing over your grandchildren and adult children as often as you can. Get our free Creating a Legacy of Blessing download on the web site to help you get started.

GRANDPAUSE: Ultimately, the question is not “Does it work?” but rather, “Should I open myself up to the mystery of what God wants to do in and through me by committing myself to the blessing?”  Rolf Garborg, The Family Blessing

Colfer Family

One Powerful Way to Connect with Your Grandkids

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Impress them on your children (grandchildren). Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you rise up.
Deut. 6:7

Jake’s Story

When young Jake showed up with his grandmother, I could tell he was not happy to be there. There was a lot of pouting and sitting on the sidelines during the first day. Grandmas was struggling with how to connect with her grandson.

The second day included a planned white water rafting trip. Jake was determined he was not going to do it. After talking through some of his fears, he reluctantly agreed to go. That rafting trip with his grandmother changed everything for Jake.

Jake came out of his shell and began interacting with the other participants. He became a participant himself, instead of an observer. Most importantly, his grandmother found him eager to engage in some very deep and meaningful conversations, especially at evening Family Time. He had lots of questions, and wanted to learn. Within a few weeks after GrandCamp, his grandmother shared with me that Jake had given his life to Christ.

A Transformational Impact

Jake’s story is only one example of the transformational impact that can be made in a child’s life (and in a grandparent’s life) through GrandCamp. Many grandparents have limited opportunities to spend five quality days of intimate, intentional relationship building experiences with their grandchildren. GrandCamp makes that possible, and it also gives parents some much needed time to themselves.

On our Family Impact Podcast today you will hear the testimony of Jim and Gwen Colfer sharing how their grandchildren’s spiritual journey and growth was impacted at GrandCamp, where the command of Deuteronomy 6:7 is put into practice.

For five days, GrandCamp becomes ‘home’ where you sit at the family table together, you walk along the road of doing life together, you discover the power of Family Time as you prepare to lie down, and the delights of rising up in anticipation of all the God is going to do that day.

Take Action

I urge you to listen to Jim and Gwen’s story on today podcast, and then take action. Take the next step to investigate the possibility of taking one or more of your grade-school age grandchildren to one of the six GrandCamps available this summer. Ask yourself what better investment of time and money you could make in your grandchildren’s lives than five days together at GrandCamp.

Sign up now to experience the unique faith adventures of GrandCamp. There you will find help to begin or continue building a legacy of faith shaped by the Gospel so another generation will know, love and follow Christ.

GRANDPAUSE: He is the God of boundless resources. The only limit is in us. Our asking, our thinking, our praying are too small; our expectations are too limited. –A. B. Simpson 

Food for the Soul

Food for the Soul

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“My food is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work”.
(John 4:34)

In America, we like our food, and lots of it. Good food ought to be, not only enjoyable, but nourishing and healthy for our bodies. I don’t think Jesus would disagree with that, but it does seem like a strange comment for Him to relate food to doing God’s will. Yet, perhaps it is not so strange after all. Jesus has given us a powerful illustration of the greater reality. While good food is good for the body, to do the Father’s will is good for the soul. To Christ, doing the will of the Father was the best possible ‘soul food’. And remember, for Him, the Father’s will meant walking towards the horrors of the Cross.

German pastor and theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote: “A righteous man lives for the next generation.” Bonhoeffer understood that the will of God involved living a righteous life for the sake of another generation, even if it meant standing in opposition to cultural norms. He wrote these words at a time when many of the older generation in his country were living their lives almost entirely for themselves. They were in pursuit of convenience and comfort, not unlike our generation today. They ignored both the plight of millions of Jews who were neighbors and friends, and thousands of their own youth being lured into the Nazi deception.

A Grandparent’s Legacy

As a grandfather, I want desperately to hand down a legacy of truth and grace. I want that legacy shaped by the Gospel my grandchildren will also want to embrace. I want them to know how much they are treasured by the God who made them. I want them to know how that love translated into an indescribable sacrifice to pay a debt they could not pay. This debt payment on their behalf not only offers the promise of eternal life, but a life filled with delight and purpose right now. My prayer is that my life will exalt Christ as a fragrant aroma of blessing to others.

I want the Lord’s passions to also be mine—to feast at the banquet table of God’s will, and to take great delight in that. What could be more nourishing and satisfying food for my soul than sharing and modeling the Word of truth, the Gospel of our salvation, with my grandchildren and their generation? I want my grandchildren to see my life hidden in Christ. My hope is they will see it spilling out into everything I do. May they see me spend myself doing the will of the Father and living for the next generation. I pray I will  give them every reason to want to taste that which gives life and health to the soul. I do not want my life to give them any reason to settle for the junk food of life wasted on worldly, selfish pursuits.

Soul Food Practices

So, what are some examples of the kind of soul food Jesus describes in John 4? How can I feast on that food to impact another generation? Here are a few possibilities we can put into practice:

  1. Share your story of God’s salvation through faith in your own personal journey.
  2. Pray regularly for and with your grandchildren.
  3. Read and study God’s Word daily. If you want to know His good and pleasing will, know His Word.
  4. Pray daily to know Him, to  delight in Him, and to seek HIS will not our own.
  5. Learn about the world your grandchildren live in (it is very different from the world you grew up in), and engage with them in their world so they know you care about what it good and true.
  6. Meet regularly with other believers to worship, be exhorted, and to grow in your faith.
  7. Examine your everyday life and ask the Lord to reveal those areas where what you practice may not match your professed beliefs. Confess those to Him and ask how He would desire for you to magnify Him in those areas.

Soul care requires good soul food. Doing the will of the Father is the best soul food we can get. After all, we cannot give what we do not have.

Are there any other grandparents who want to enjoy some good soul food with me?

GrandPause… Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship…then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.  Romans 12:1-2

Do You Have a Welcoming Heart?

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“Whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.”  Matt. 18:5

You’ve heard me say it over and over. Godly parenting and grandparenting demands intentionality. Will I pursue God’s agenda or my own? That was part of the challenge God laid before His people through Jeremiah when He told them to “ask where the good way is, and walk in it” (Jeremiah 6:16). The ‘good way’ is the way of intentional travelers whose destination is rest for the soul.

Jesus made it very clear to His disciples that one marker of a person who walks in the “good way” is found in one’s attitude towards children. Do we possess as welcoming heart, or not? And is our welcoming heart displayed only to our own grandchildren, or to all children? Jesus calls us to proactively welcome children because in so doing we declare our allegiance to Christ and the heart of the Father to do all we can to not let any of these little ones perish.

What does it mean to welcome a little child?  Perhaps we might begin answering that by looking at what it does NOT mean. It does not mean worshiping children and making them the center of the universe (not anything a grandparent would do, right? At the same time, it does not mean treating them with contempt as second-class citizens. It does not mean ignoring our responsibility to guide them, teach them and embrace them lovingly. It does not mean getting upset because they aren’t acting like adults when they run through the church halls. It does not mean getting irritated with a child for crying in the worship service (I might get irritated at an irresponsible parent, but not the child). It does not mean doing anything that would hinder a child from coming to Christ and knowing how precious they are.

What it does mean is showing interest in them as valued persons made in God’s image. It does mean speaking kindly to them, getting down to their level to engage them. It may mean volunteering to help in the children’s area once a month. It means seeing them as precious to God, rather than a bother.

Most grandparents love their grandchildren. We want to enjoy them. But do we welcome their questions, or their intrusions on our space the way Christ welcomes them?

Welcoming children is something Jesus takes very seriously. In fact, He makes it very clear that to hinder a child from coming to Him in any way, whether directly or indirectly, is to risk severe consequences. Good way travelers look for ways to reach out and welcome the children in their family, their church, and their neighborhood, rather than ignoring them or complaining about them. The thing about choosing to travel the good way marked out by God’s Word is that it always leads to rest for our souls… and likely the children in our path.

Amazing isn’t it! A welcoming heart leads to a restful soul.

GRANDPAUSE:Whoever receives one child like this in My name, receives Me; and whoever receives Me does not receive Me, but Him who sent Me (Mark 9:34-37). Therefore, how we deal with children is a signal of our fellowship with God. -John Piper

A Grandparent’s Greatest Challenge: PART TWO

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Guest Blogger Mark Gregston
Spend time with the wise and you will become wise,
but the friends of fools will suffer. (Proverbs 13:20 NCV)

Last week I introduced you to Mark Gregston, founder of Heartlight Ministries. Mark concludes today with his five steps (keys) for beginning the process of engaging and connecting relationships with your adolescent and older grandchildren. Last time Mark unpacked the first two steps: Show Interest, and Adapt to Their World. Now we turn attention to the final three keys to cultivating good relationships with your grandchildren.

Build Relationship

A real relationship takes an investment of time and effort. The key word is investment. The focus of that investment has to be the benefit of the grandchild, motivated out of love for that child.

Paul wrote to the Thessalonians and said, “We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too” (1 Thessalonians 2:8).

Teens are looking for genuineness, authenticity, and relationships that offer something more than only correction when they mess up. They desire someone who is frank, honest and isn’t afraid to speak the truth in love because they know the motivation comes from a deep empathy for their plight.

Create Connection

The connection I’m talking about is the next step in the relationship with your grandchild. It’s when communication, effort, and desire to spend time together become a two-way street. This is what you want to happen with your teenage grandchildren. It is more important than the message you have to share. It has to be cultivated…and watered…and fertilized…and allowed to grow.

So here are some things I’ve learned about connection with grandkids:

  • • Connection is more than just a relationship.
  • • Connection is not measured by the number of pictures of your grandchild you post.
  • • Connection is having the relationship that is measured by two-way communication.
  • • Connection is not an opportunity for correction.
  • • Connection is a mutual love for one another established because a grandparent determines to pour life and love into a child.

Invite Questions

When I initially show interest in any teen, including my grandkids, I do it by asking questions about his or her life, thoughts, and heart. It’s not the interrogating type, but types of questions that convey value.

I want them to start asking me questions. You’ll know you have a connection when your grandkids start asking you:

  • • Can you keep a secret?
  • • Can I tell you something?
  • • Hey, want to get together for dinner?
  • • Grandma, did you ever fall away from Jesus…I mean, just not get it sometimes?

As a grandparent, this is what you’ve been waiting for. It’s their invitation to you to speak the truth (however painful that may be) into their lives. Their questions will let you know there is a connection, and they want wisdom.

Over time, you’ll find that talking about the hard stuff and sharing the reality of the lessons you’ve learned will convey those rare qualities of good relationships called genuineness and authenticity—two items in high demand in today’s teen culture.

Known as the “Teen Whisperer,” Mark Gregston can be heard on his nationally award-winning radio program, Parenting Today’s Teens with Mark Gregston, as well as his new book, Leaving a Legacy of Hope: Offering Your Grandchildren What No One Else Can. Mark is the founder of Heartlight, a Christian residential counseling center for struggling teens for nearly 30 years.

A Grandparent’s Greatest Challenge

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Guest Blogger Mark Gregston
Spend time with the wise and you will become wise, but the friends of fools will suffer.
(Proverbs 13:20 NCV)

People have a propensity to complain about the youth of today. Throughout history, there is ample evidence of moanings and groanings about young people, and how their attitudes and actions are destroying the very moral fiber of our country. We tend to recall our time of adolescence as a wonderful time of innocence and wonder.

I’ve found inter-generational connection doesn’t automatically happen simply because you are a grandparent or parent. Deep engagement isn’t inherited; it’s cultivated. You cultivate it every time you are intentional in reaching out to your grandchildren in ways that make them want to reach back.

This process begins with grandparents asking questions. Hopefully, it then blossoms into a relationship where the grandchild asks the questions. This exchange is a process; one I’ve learned from my relationships with thousands of teens at Heartlight, a Christian residential counseling center I founded almost 30 years ago.

There are five necessary steps (or keys) in this process of engagement and connection with your adolescent (and sometimes older) grandkids. Let’s unpack them a little here.

Show Interest

During the first years of our grandkids’ lives, I think we get involved for our own selfish reasons. We love their cuteness, enjoy watching them grow, feel ecstatic when they give us a name. Grandbabies make us feel good, look good, and put a smile on our face.

If your grandchild feels for a moment that your purpose and intent in their life is just to transfer all the wisdom you’ve gained in life, you will bore them to tears. You may think adolescents and teens have no common sense, but they can be incredibly savvy. And they can quickly spot a fake. Remember, grandparenting is not about you. It’s about your grandkids.

Paul writes about this when he says to the Philippians, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4).

One of the hardest challenges of grandparenting is sharing the wisdom you have gathered through life in a way that applies to their world and their culture, not the world you grew up in and learned from.

Adapt to Their World

Okay, so you live in a world of immodest girls who are unladylike in their behavior, foolish boys who think only of themselves, a world where kids have a great sense of entitlement. They are impatient, know everything, and hardly respect their elders. That is the world of kids today, it seems. But it’s the world your grandkids have to live in.

If you want to be an influence and make an impact on their lives, then you will have to adapt your message so it includes an understanding of the world they live in. When I say adapt, I’m not telling you to scrap your standards or beliefs and discard what you hold to be true and valuable. Apply it all to their world.

If your message is relevant, don’t change your content. Do change the way you approach it and say it so the intended recipients of the message can embrace the message, engage with applicability, and value the effectiveness of the wisdom shared.

Next week, Mark will address the final three keys for cultivating engaging relationships with your older grandchildren.

Known as the “Teen Whisperer,” Mark Gregston can be heard on his nationally award-winning radio program, Parenting Today’s Teens with Mark Gregston, as well as his new book, Leaving a Legacy of Hope: Offering Your Grandchildren What No One Else Can. Mark is the founder of Heartlight, a Christian residential counseling center for struggling teens for nearly 30 years.

It Runs In The Family … Or Does It?

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“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 4

The teacher asked her class to say why they believed in God. There were a variety of answers from “I don’t know” to “I just believe it”. When it came time for Jimmy to give an answer, he didn’t hesitate. He shrugged his shoulder and said, “It runs in the family.”

I was blessed to be part of that kind of family. I have vivid memories of my parents and grandparents kneeling in their living room with other believers praying for the lost in our city, and that their children and grandchildren would walk in the truth. While I am grateful that our daughters know the Lord and are teaching the truth to their children, I cannot take for granted that my grandchildren will embrace the truth simply because it runs in the family.

The apostle John is right—there is no greater joy than to know that walking in the truth runs in the family. I also know that it doesn’t happen automatically. It requires intentionality.

intentionality, perseverance, prayer and patience expressed through a life that is lived with authenticity, compassion and grace is essential. Share on X

I remember my pastor saying to me when I was a young boy, “Cavin, you have a rich heritage of faith demonstrated to you through your grandparents and parents. But their faith can never be your faith unless you choose to make it your own faith.” It wasn’t long after that when I knelt in our family room at home with my father, confessed my sin, and asked Jesus to be MY savior too.

There are many who come to Christ without that kind of family legacy. If you are one of them, you have an incredible opportunity to establish a new legacy of faith for your family and the future generations that will follow should the Lord tarry. Grandparents have a unique and influential position to represent Christ and His Gospel to the next generations.

As I’ve already said, intentionality, perseverance, prayer and patience expressed through a life that is lived with authenticity, compassion and grace is essential. God has positioned you in this time to make much of Christ through your own example of godliness so another generation will long for the same kind of relationship with the Lord that you have.

Here are two suggestions for doing that in a practical way:

  1. Pray, not only for your grandchildren, but with them and over them. If they don’t live close by you can still do this by phone or Skype, or use Messaging or texting.
  2. Speak a blessing over them when you are with them. Again, if you’re long distant, send a text regularly with a blessing or Scripture to encourage them and remind them they are valued, not for what they do, but who they are in Christ. The difference between a prayer and blessing is that a prayer is speaking to God on behalf of others. A Blessing is speaking to others on behalf of God,

May God strengthen and embolden you for this grand privilege to lead another generation to know, love, and serve Christ. May you one day you have the blessing of hearing your grandchildren also say, “It runs in the family”!

GRANDPAUSE: “Nothing motivates me more to do all I can to bring my grandchildren to Christ than my desire for our family circle to be unbroken when we get to Heaven.” –Ila McIlvain (a dear friend)